All that is Smoss

For a long time I have worked on my RPG system, tweaking and fixing. It has not majorly changed in quite a while though. However, I still find new typos almost every day. Spellcheck can only do so much... Finding the problems, tiny and hidden, has given me a major appreciation for proofreaders of commercial products. I've read through my rules a lot of times and had others read them. Still errors hide out. It makes me a lot more forgiving of errors in a published work.

In other news, still jobless. No prospects for work. No money. Ugh.

Well, I would like to congratulate mister spider on waking me up in a panic this morning.

He died in a glorious blaze of electricity that shorted out my computer. After 45 minuted of canned air and some part removal to get to more places to "aerate", the computer seems to be back up and running.

It did make me glad that I had just backed up my 6th Age Rules and my campaign stuff for Shawna yesterday. Also glad the spark shower and such did not set anything on fire. Though I do now have a nice "fried electronics" smell in my apartment. Yum!

Independence is something I value greatly. I hate depending on anyone but myself, and don't take orders from others well. There are good and bad things about that, of course. My main problem now is that my independence is getting seriously threatened. I have no idea how long I can pull out new tricks to survive on my own. The job market is fighting me, but I hope that someone, somewhere will hire me...

However, I keep working on my own works too. I am still fighting to find a publisher for my novel. I am doing a little more work on it too, fixing some grammar and minor problems.

There is also my roleplaying system, set in the same world as my novel. It has had a major face lift. Now all prettied up and transformed into a nice PDF file, it is looking good. All the rules are set, tweaked, and the typos are pretty much completely gone. It has gotten a good bit of playtesting, so all I can do to it now is add more "fluff"... AKA words on the setting and such. I can always use some good city and river names... :)

But here we are on America's Independence Day... I hope I can regain my own independence soon!
Smoss

Got one of my tax refunds today!!! I will be able to make my next car payment after all! YAY!

In other news, I got my fourth or fifth ever winning lotto tickets cashed out today. Yay for a two dollar prize... Now if only I could get a larger prize. It does not even have to be the jackpot. Just throw a little good karma my way... And cash. Lots and lots of cash. :)

Also with a little wrangling, I think I can ride out the bad economy until about June. Hopefully something can open up before then. And I should put my ability to survive for a really long time without an income on my resume somehow... I am a freaking financial genius to have pulled this off.

Though admittedly it is pushing me into the realm of irresponsible at this point. But you have to do what you have to do.

Well, after a few applications, interviews and such, I am still unemployed. At least I am getting a few replies to my applications (Even if it is all rejections). So the job front is going poorly. At least I learned that I will get a tax refund, enough to give me maybe one more month of survival. Assuming I get that check in time to use it...

And now a couple of free weekends. It is likely the first Valentine's that I won't be out doing something. Entertainment is limited when you have no money. So it will be a couple of boring weekends (Hell, boring weeks. Sitting around applying for jobs and searching for jobs is no fun). It definitely feels like I have nothing nice to say. My normally positive mood is shrinking fast.

Of course, there is a secret behind that positive attitude. And finally life is chipping away at that. I've remade myself more than once, and I don't know if I have the energy to do it again. Now I have started looking at a few money options to see what I can do to somehow survive a bit longer. I've found enough tricks to survive for three years without a positive income, and the stakes are getting higher each day.

I am open to suggestions, any jobs you find, anything. I am running out of ideas, and I certainly don't have anyone to turn to but what few friends I have left. Hopefully also a bit of pouring/ranting out into LJ here will help me feel a bit better too.

Did some work on my second novel today. Currently it has just under ten thousand words in it. Currently have plans for five novels in the "Sixth Age of Doulairen" series. Now for some nice details for all of you...

Book One - Heir to Agon. A tale of treachery that introduces you to the world through one city and the things that happen in it due to an attempted coup of the throne...

Book Two - Measure of a Magehunter. This tale focuses on the character that most stood out in Heir to Agon (So much so that I had to cut a lot of stuff about him because he was overshadowing the story. I kept that cut text to put into this book). This is his tale, following a bit of the classic tale of the hero (With my own twists, of course...)

Book Three - Leholtan Uprising. A rebellion against a terrible foe to set up things for later books. Have not begun real work to flesh this out yet.

Book Four - Seraph Wolf. Another character based tale, focusing on the female lead from Heir to Agon, telling the tale of her youth.

Book Five - Blades of Deception. A character tale focusing on a character planned on appearing in Measure of a Magehunter.

That is all I have so far, and who knows what chances I'll have to work on any of this... Considering my job situation (I have none), and my quickly disappearing cash. I am still hoping to find an agent to sell my novel. The good news is that I have not been rejected yet. The bad news is that I have no acceptances yet either. Of course, it is early yet, so I am thinking only on the positive side of that.

In other news, I am fully up for more roleplaying. Not like I have anything else to do. Those that want to play my new RPG system (Which is built for the setting of my novels) are more than welcome to. I have plenty of time (See above comments about not having a job...), I will let any who wish to play tell me when THEY have free time... :)

Well, we have moved on to a new year. My novel is done. My query letters have been sent out to my potential agents. Still no other job prospects on the horizon. I have high hopes for 2009. Low expectations... But high hopes. I have until the end of March before I go completely bankrupt with debt, so hopefully something can be found. In other news, I took my RPG system from beta to final version, at version 2.50. For those interested in all the geeky details of the system, feel free to read below the cut:

( Details! )

Family time for the year is over, thankfully. 2008 is nearly over, and 2009 has the potential to be bright. It also has the potential to be really, really dark. The real news is that I have finished the edits and rework of my novel. Yes, the novel is DONE.

I worked up a "query letter" for sending to literary agents... Sent that off to 'Nise to take a look at (She has studied up on this stuff far more than I, she might have thoughts on the letter). I searched through for potential literary agents, narrowing down to a few. There are suggestions that one should not send out to more than ten...

I looked for those most likely to want my kind of novel, that were members of respected organizations, checked out okay against list of scammer agents, and are also accepting queries by email. I figured with how much filtering I put on and with my pickyness, it would drop the number of agents to send to first as a nice respectable number. It narrowed me down to five people - Three men and two women. A nice mix and a decent number for a first query send.

Now just to see 'Nise's thoughts on the query, and I think I am all ready for the push to publish... Unless the job market picks up or something else happens, this is likely my last chance for "employment". Even the fast food restaurants turn me down (Talk about a blow to the pride, ya know?)

Also, just to annoy me, my mouse partially died today. Just the left click button. Grr. I know Pat slightly noticed that the button was acting odd when last he used my computer. Luckily, I had a spare optical mouse from my old computer. Yay! I was worried because I have no PS/2 port for keyboard or mouse on my newer comp, and all my old comps had them. Luckily my old optical mouse was a USB mouse that had a PS/2 adapter on it for use in my old comp... :)

I had switched my mouse buttons, thinking I would need a new mouse - I never realized just how ingrained the left click is... Training to use a right click as the left was frustrating (Until I found my old mouse was USB, and the chorus of angels sang...) Though my old mouse looks like it has been though a dozen campaigns in Baghdad under heavy fire, it still works. I must say that while Microsoft may not have a working OS, they sure used to make some AWESOME hardware.

Finished my rework of Chapter 1 of my novel. There was quite a bit of information that needed to be conveyed, but it needed to be done in a very different way than I originally had it. My new way lets the core antagonist be introduced a bit earlier, let you get to know him better (And therefore find your dislike of him easier).

Also gets to lead into a new intro bit for Chapter 2 with the main protagonist and antagonist encountering each other and letting have the sparks fly to see their relationship better. Surprisingly, it all has not added a lot of words yet, but I am getting tantalizingly close to the 60,000 mark again.

I expect once this is all done, the novel will pretty much be utterly complete other than a few edits in the last few chapters. With its length, looks like I need to target Young Adult if I get published. Which means I need to recheck my profanities... Most should be gone anyway, as a medieval style of fantasy, modern profanity is a bit anachronistic anyway.

Not sure what all to worry about for a YA style book. There is some rather graphic violence in it, but knowing how things go that should be fine as long as there is nothing sexual... That's the way right? Explode people's heads... Torture them viciously... Beat them to death with their own severed limbs... Just don't flash your breasts as THAT is bad. :)

UPDATE: Okay, so looking up information on YA novels says that this will NEVER qualify. Have to go with short adult fiction. Especially after looking over things and realizing just how many things are dealt with in this novel... Drugs, slavery, prostitution, torture... The main character being a guy pushing fifty (Nearing retirement and old age for a medieval time...)

And now comes the wonders of eating cooked turkey. Yum. However, giving thanks seems harder and harder. Dealing with family... Dealing with the job problems... The longer it goes on, it seems harder to find the things in your heart you should be thankful for.

There are always friends, though I don't let myself get close to anyone. Sure I may be extroverted, but how many know my secrets? I can only think of one person who ever came close to knowing them all. And that isn't even someone I talk to anymore or have any way to contact. But luckily a lot of people seem to like me despite my lack of sharing... :)

Certainly the extended lack of a job has hit the self confidence - And who do you know with as much self confidence as me? I worked to DEFINE arrogance by actions! ;)

I did get a blip on my confidence briefly by finally having an employer call back wanting more information. Of course, I got a rejection later, but that attention was more than I had received from an employer for a long time. Was rejected for unemployment, but expected that. Now I am pretty much hoping for a miracle, hitting the right spot at the right time with my resume. Have applied for jobs all over the place, and not just in Ohio.

Here is hoping that next year I have far more to be thankful for... Hopefully we ALL have more to be thankful for next year... :)

Not sure what got me going, but I did a LOT of work on my novel today. Fixed up a lot of the holes created by cutting things out that should not be part of this story. The tale has a flow again, from what I can tell without reading it again. First chapter needs some serious work, and the later chapter (10 to 16) need to be read through to make sure all the holes are filled in.

But what this means is that the novel once again tells a complete story. The current version weighs in just shy of 59,000 words - But I expect edits (And a major add to chapter one) will increase that greatly. Assuming, that is, that I ever get around to working on it again. Keeping focus on it is incredibly difficult.

But at least I put some major work back into it. And if I get run over by a truck, there is enough of it done that people can know the whole story.

Well, the time has come. As of the end of this week, if something does not happen with my finances or me getting a job, I am officially living on borrowed time. I can't expect any help from my family, neither of them have jobs either (Not that it matters, they wouldn't help me anyways).

So I'll throw this out once more to all reading this - If you know of any jobs or anything else, I could really use the help in finding them. I apply to dozens of jobs each week, but the more the merrier at this point. Really, pretty much any kind of job would work at this point. I know several of you have struggled as well, and this economy really sucks, so I don't expect much. But you never know when opportunity might knock, so I figured I would ask one last time... :)

Also, I am willing to relocate...

Well, I've had some fun times recently doing a lot of surgery to my electronic devices. (Made you look with that interesting headline, didn't I?)

A new power supply for my computer... Removing the amp from my speakers (And sending it to Texas for a repair/upgrade).

Putting in a new power supply for a computer is really unpleasant now. It used to be pretty easy. Now there are a billion cables that go to different things. Plus moving them around in a cramped case. I miss the old days on that... I also miss having my speakers. But the wonderful hissing noise they were making told me it was time for a repair - And there is a guy that does that for this brand, and it effectively upgrades them as well.

Be nice if I can have it back in time for next weekend, when I can use it to soothe the savage beasts invading my place... And once lulled into such peace I can slay them. Of course, Shawna is likely bringing her most powerful weapon (The evil child of doom)... So this WILL be quite the dangerous undertaking!

( This one is long... )

I've had a bad week so far, and it is getting worse.

First, my car had been making some odd noises. So it has been sitting in a shop since Monday evening, so I have no vehicle.

And just now, my cell phone died. I have no way to contact the service shop to see how my car is doing. And I have no car to go to the local store to get my phone replaced.

I have the phone plugged in right now, hoping that with a bit of time on the charger, it will start up again.

Also, still no job, nor any remaining prospects. I hope that Gen-Con will be good, because I need some good things to happen.

As might be obvious, my stress level is peaking up into astronomical regions about now...

UPDATE: Thanks to Mike Kirk, my phone is working again for now. Car issue is the "Internal Balancer", also known as a harmonic balancer. Even if it was not under warranty, it is not a super expensive/nasty part.

After a long time of NOTHING, I finally got a call from folks that want to do a phone interview!

Yes, I know I should not get excited as that means little, but when you have been sending out as much info as I have only to have NO contact, having someone call feels like a major improvement.

In other news, been a while since I've read through my livejournal stuff. Missed at least one B-Day... How can I go on without having said something mean and horrible to someone I don't know all that well about how terribly old they must be getting? How will people know how much of a total insensitive jerk I am?

Oh, wait. Missing birthdays works good. Wow, am I *GOOD*! In other news, Gen-Con is coming up, so I expect I should get to work on stuff for that. Oh, and will the darn elections get done and over with already? I want to start MY campaign for election as president of the US in 2012.

Yes, that is right... Smoss for President in 2012!!! You saw it hear first. Running my campaign here from the Temple of Smoss, soon Smossmania will sweep the nation! And then I will rule with an iron fist for the next three decades (Or less depending on the talent of various assassins). Vote Smoss! It is the vote for pure evil!

Well, Origins has been fairly weak so far, didn't see a lot to interest me there. Though I have some things to do there on Saturday.

In other news, a friend of mine mentioned a couple job openings that may open very soon where they work (And they are good friends with the boss there). So hopefully I can finally get a job!

Income for the win! Woo! Not sure how long that may take, so I am still on the look, just in case. Stupid economy.

Hopefully all works out. If not, after Gen Con is done, then it will be time for desperate measures. I wonder if I can say "Do you want fries with that?" with a straight face? Hmm.

I feel great fear right now. Why? My new glasses failed to arrive on time, so I went to get my driver's license renewed (As tomorrow is my B-Day so I am out of time).\

I expected to have trouble with the eye test, as even with my glasses, I have trouble reading signs and such. But no, I easily passed.

This means that other such blind people are allowed to drive. If this is not a cause for fear, I know not what is.

In other news, the more I work with 4e D&D, the less I like it. Trying to make a higher level character did not excite me, and in fact made me want to do absolutely anything else as that would be more interesting.

Oh well. Now for a weekend full of RP and debauchery. Starting tonight with my regular game. And ending with the death of Doug. Or at least we all hope so. Except maybe Doug, and no one cares about what he thinks anyway. :)

Yes, I got my "economic stimulus check" in the mail today. Yay for money... :)

But it has been a really good day. Not only do I get cash, but some certain popular upcoming RPG books have been released on the "interweb". Therefore, I have been busy reading.

I had to get to about page 280 or so in the PHB before I got to the meat of questions about the new system. The other two core books will be looked at soon after I'm done with that...

In other news, it appears that my PBeM pool of candidates is now down to four... Only three more people to drive to insanity or suicide... The last survivor will get to play. :)

Why is it anytime I have something that causes stress, THAT is when I have a flow of inspiration? Why not when I am relaxed? Grr. Stupid inspiration.

Of course, in good news, this means many ideas and thoughts have come to me. Finally I have a good plot to go with my new RPG system. So who is up to be the one to get into the PBeM for it? :)